


Swimming Pool

by EbonyBlack



Category: DCU, DCU (Animated), Teen Titans, Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: Apple juice does not belong in toasters, Beast Boy's life expectancy was just shortened, DC comics - Freeform, Robin is really angry right now..., Superheroes, Swimming Pools, Teen Titans - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-24
Updated: 2013-11-24
Packaged: 2018-01-02 11:44:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1056363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EbonyBlack/pseuds/EbonyBlack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beast Boy really wants a swimming pool.<br/>Robin says no.<br/>Calamity ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Swimming Pool

Tactic Number 1:

“Hey Robin, I know that our budget report’s coming up next week, and I was thinking, maybe you could put down a request for the money to get a swimming pool?” 

“Sorry Beast Boy, but right now I just don’t think so.” 

…

Tactic Number 2:

“Ahh, I’m dying, I contracted this weird jungle disease that can only be cured by long amounts of time in a large amount of water!”

“Bathtub?”

“No, it has to be larger.”

“Ocean?”

“Uh, it can’t be… salty…”

“Would chlorinated water work?”

“Yeah! I mean… I never thought of that, but it should be good, I guess...”

“Not happening, Beast Boy.”

…

Tactic Number 3:

“Well Cyborg, I’d really love to turn into a dolphin and check for a leak in the T-sub, but I  
don’t know if I remember how to swim, cuz’ I don’t have a pool to practice in. Isn’t that right, Robin?”

“The answer is still no, Beast Boy”

…

Tactic Number 4:

“Hey, Robin! I heard about this great new superhero workout… ugh – on the Internet! I mean, I read about it! On the Internet! Yeah, and basically everyone get’s in a pool and you do this thing with your – “

“For the last time, we are not getting a pool!”

…

Tactic Number 5:

“Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaasssssseeeee!!!!!!!!”

“No.”

“I’ll do dishes for a week!”

“No.”

”I’ll stop switching your hair gel with glue!”

“No.”

“I’ll stop dressing up Starfire’s stuffed animals in your capes!”

“No.”

“I’ll stop feeding your smoke bombs to Silkie!”

“Really, stop doing that. But the answer’s still no.”

“I’ll stop posting on your fansite!”

“Wait, that was – Beast Boy, for the last time, WE ARE NOT GETTING A POOL!!!”

…

Tactic Number 6:

“I’m gonna tell Starfire that I heard you talking about her in your sleep! “Oh, Starfire, I would love to be your Greshnap!!!’ Robin and Starfire, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-OHMYGOD AHHHHHHH! Cyborg! Raven Starfire! Help!!!! Robin’s gonna killll meeeeeeee!!!!!!”

…

Tactic Number 7:

“Hey Beast Boy, have you seen the expense report forms? I left them on the kitchen table this morning.”

“Uh, yeah, uhm… Cyborg! Cyborg… said he was going out anyway! So he decided to drop them off at the mayor’s office for you.”

“Oh, sweet. Well, I guess I’ll be in the gym if you need me.”

…

A few days later:

“…STUPID, IRRESPONSIBLE, RIDICOULOUS, CHILDLIKE, IMMATURE THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE!!! Do you know what this could have done to our reputation!?!?! Do you WANT the mayor to think we’re just some stupid kids running around in costumes? Really, Beast Boy, this time you’ve gone too far! I don’t even know where to start with the – “

“Hey, Rob. Chill out man!” Cyborg had just entered the main lounge, bracing himself to intervene in a full-on war. “Whatever it is he did, I’m sure he’s done stupider. ” 

“You!” Robin roared. Cyborg didn’t see that one coming. “How did you let him get away with this!? You took the forms to the mayor’s office! It didn’t occur to you for even a second to check over them before handing them TO THE MAYOR!???”

Cyborg swallowed his anger. War still seems evitable if he could just keep it from escalating any further. Although smacking Robin was pretty tempting right now… But no! He’d just done repairs on the main screen, and he’d hate to go another week without video games just because Robin missed Beast Boy’s face and put his foot through the TV. 

“Come down, man. I don’t even know what you’re talking about. What forms? I didn’t take anything anywhere. In fact, I’ve been working on the main screen and a new set of security codes – I haven’t left the tower in days.”

Beast Boy didn’t think there was anything scarier than Robin yelling. But it turns out he was wrong. Robin glaring. Yep, even through the mask, Beast Boy could feel his eyes threatening a slow, painful, martial-arts-induced, Batman-style murder. He gulped loudly.

“Cyborg,” Robin said through clenched teeth. “Do you know what Beast Boy put a request for on our monthly expense forms?”

“Oh, so that’s what this is about? Tell me it’s not another moped, cux really B, you can fly and –”

“A HALF MILLION DOLLAR SWIMMING POOL!!!” 

Beast Boy wanted to point out that it came with 12 different jet styles, automatic climatic thermal control (whatever the hell that meant), a slide, AND a diving board. But the little vein in the side of Robin’s head was sticking out now, and it usually only did that when they were talking about Slade. So Beast Boy did his first smart thing of the day, and didn’t say anything.

Cyborg, on the other hand, was cracking up. “A swimming pool? Aww, B, you’ve got to be kidding. This really is one of your stupider moves.” Robin didn’t seem to get the joke.

“Man, lighten up. So, Beast Boy put in a stupid request and it got denied. So what?”

“As a matter of fact, the stupid request was not denied.”

Beast Boy got whale eyes. The rest of him stayed a gangly-green teenager though.

Cyborg smirked, and glanced at Beast Boy. “Well, then just say that we changed our mind,” he said, half serious, half provocative. He turned back to Robin. “That we don’t need it anymore, or something.”

Beast Boy’s neck snapped an owl’s full 180 degrees to gape and glare at Cyborg. 

“Can’t,” Robin said, irritation dripping from his tone. “Turns out, the major’s oldest son recently dropped out of college and has now decided to start a pool company. The mayor not only granted the request, but said his son’s new company would be honored to oversee the project, and could be ready to start next week. Apparently, designing a pool for the Titans is wonderful publicity.”

“So, basically you’re telling me that now we have to get a pool?” Cyborg’s eyebrow furrowed. 

“They’re coming to map out the space tomorrow.”

As a man-robot, he couldn’t say he exactly loved the idea of having an aquatic wonderland in his home. What if he fell in? I mean, yeah, he was waterproof and all, but still. Ugh, he shivered at the thought. Being submerged in water just felt so wrong. Liquids and technology - it just wasn’t natural! He’s seen what happed when Starfire tried to toast apple juice the other day. Toaster, may he rest in peace.

Beast Boy on the other hand was… well: “So that means – that I – and we – and a pool!!! We’re getting a pool!? The Teen Titans are getting a pool, and OHMYGOD!!!!” He pulled a fuming Robin into a hug. “Robin, this is the BEST NEWS EVER!!!!” 

And then the dance started. “We’re getting a pooo-oool, we’re getting a pooo-ool. Who’s getting a pool? We’re getting a pool! Who’s gonna throw the best pool parties in Jump city? Beast Boy’s gonna throw the best pool parties in Jump city! Uh-huh, that’s right! I’m awesome! I’m awesome!!! Hel-lo ladies!!! Man, this is sic!” He started sprinting/hopping/skipping out of the room. “I’ve got to go tell Raven! And Starfire, and – hey, what do you think the chance is of getting them into bikinis!?”

And that’s what did it. Robin attacked. 

“Ahhh, Cyborg, Starfire, Raven!!! Robin’s gonna killll meeeee and this time it’s for reaaallllll!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!”

Eh, Cyborg could fix the door later. Besides, he had to go get ready to hang out with Bee later. (And just because he didn’t have to shower and shave, doesn’t mean he didn’t have to scuff and shine!) 

the end.


End file.
